Easy Sleazy

My profile on Tinder ( I know I keep talking about it but it’s my current source of entertainment) says:

“Hi my name is, whatever you call me. So let’s get undressed, because I want to see you naked.”

…it’s a line from Kim Cesarion’s song called “undressed”. A recent trip to Brisbane prompted the change, I wanted to see how easy it would be to get a root. Turns out, it’s very easy haha. This suits me a lot better than what I had up there before because it pretty much just let’s boys know that I only want to bang. I don’t want to talk about you or me for that matter. Let’s just have sex and never talk again, ok? (Unless it’s really good then we can maybe do it again.)

I got quite a few matches and didn’t speak to them at first just waited for them to message me and they were straight to the point. The first guy I was messaging was only 2km away ( another brilliant feature of Tinder haha). I was mostly messaging this guy to show my friend who doesn’t have tinder how easy it is to get what I want (and because I love attention so why wouldn’t I be messaging him haha). I wasn’t going to actually sleep with him, I already had plans to meet a mate for dinner. I was on holiday so had no car and they couldn’t exactly come over to my friends place where I was staying so I just couldn’t be bothered that Thursday. I didn’t tell him that though! The convo got to what did I want him to do to me and when was I coming over, I politely lied and said I couldn’t until maybe Sunday. BOOM! Mission accomplished in under 10 minutes of matching with him. I thought it was hilarious, it’s amazing what a few words can do.

The next day I went out drinking with my mates in the Gold Coast and by the afternoon we were pretty sloshed and maybe had a few lines of something so I got on tinder to see what was about. I matched with a good few hotties but then we left the pub and went to a house party then back out to the bars at around 10pm. I had organised to go see this guy who was just down the road. A hottie who played the drums and had just told me he wanted to bang me in every room in his house. As we arrived at the bar I messaged him to come and pick me up, then it all fell apart. My mate couldn’t get into the bar because she was too fucked up and I couldn’t just leave her there or put her in a taxi cause she could barely speak ( very standard). So off we went home to bed. I messaged the guy telling him the story and he said I should come over after but we were too far away by then so that wasn’t happening but I kept the option open anyways.

So still no root and a now it’s Saturday and I’m off to a wedding which I have been informed there are no hotties at! But I wasn’t too worried to be honest I was enjoying the time with my mates way too much!

The next match was a super hot Brazilian guy. After some sexy dirty talk I was supposed to be meeting him the next day. I had to drive back to the Gold Coast from where I was in Coffs Harbour (about 300km) and I was going to stop in at his place on the way. WAS! being the key word! Some German tourists crashed into my friends car I was borrowing! So instead of going to see the smoking hot boy, who was sending me some very exciting photos, I had to go and get quotes to fix the car. Fuck my life. It’s like I was destined to not have sex this weekend!

Off to the airport back home to Perth I go before I got on the plane another offer for a bang, obviously too late! Then when I got off the plane the best message I’ve ever got on Tinder (see the photo) just plain and simple and to the point “sex?” Haha love it! If only I wasn’t 3000km away!

Even though I didn’t end up have sex,the weekend with my mates was amazing! The chase and tease with these strangers was entertaining and I like the attention and to be reminded that I am alright looking haha!

Adventure Pussy xx

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