Alright, I’m back!
This morning I dressed up in sexy lingerie and was cooking breakfast for Will who was on his way over to my place. I did my hair and makeup and was ready for him to just walk in and push me up against the wall like he couldn’t resist me, as I told him I didn’t want him to touch me or have sex with me (because we all know no means yes). After a little while of telling him he can’t have me he would force me to the couch and bend me over and fuck me from behind then finish it off on top of me on the floor. Yumm that sounds good..
BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED…
I’ve been trying to figure out whether this time and effort I am putting into this guy is worth it. So I am quite a selfish person when it comes to getting what I want. How do I put this, pretty much I always get what I want. If I don’t, well, I just remove that thing/person/environment from my life so I go back to getting what I want. Being single for 5 years before this (excluding the engagement which was a joke of a 2 month relationship, if you can even call it that.) has made me unable to civilly deal with not getting my way. In other words I spit the dummy and have a tantrum or scream and walk out. Now don’t get me wrong, as my family knows, I have calmed down a lot in the last few years, so my tantrums and screaming matches are a lot less frequent and tame. But they still happen. Now they are happening because of Will, I really do like him and don’t want to just remove him from my life, but he is the cause of me not getting what I want. I know what this sounds like and the picture you are painting of me, but why should you not always get what you want in life? If you want it go get it end of story. You won’t stop wanting for it so why accept any less than getting it?
This is what actually happened when Will walked in this morning.. He said hi, kissed me said I looked NICE and grabbed the paper and sat down patiently awaiting his breakfast.
Ok, so my expectations had been a little too high, but really? Nice?