Here’s what I’ve decided.. If a guy can’t out fuck me, I mean like have so much sex with me that I am the one saying no ( and not in a “no means yes” way, a “no means no more for now!” way) then it will never work out. That is the verdict I have come to during recent events and I firmly believe that is how I will have to decide if I can waste any emotions on someone in the future. Mostly because I love sex and I highly doubt that will change, I have a crazy high sex drive and the more I get the more I want.
I realised this when Will broke up with me. I think it hurt his manhood that I always wanted sex and he had to say no. If he had have just put a little more effort in and given me what I wanted in the first place then I wouldn’t have needed to go three or four times in a row. Well actually that’s a lie haha I would have wanted to do that anyway. But I should have known that I would never be truly happy unless he was banging me senseless, all the time. See I don’t like to be told “no” and I did say this to Will “just don’t say no too many times.” I said it but my emotions got the better of me and I let him say no way too many times and just thought “it will get better” but it didn’t, and then I still was making excuses for him. I guess it’s because I’m fairly new at this actually letting boys close to me game. Its normally just a ‘tap and gap’ situation (fuck and leave) but the last two I have let into my heart and then realised it is not truly what I want. I hold on because I remember all the good things and block out the bad, but it comes back and kicks me in the face. I end up being the one who gets dumped when I could see it coming all along but I just couldn’t give up and quit on my feelings.
I should have known that first day I met back up with Will in Adelaide when after three rounds of fun and alright sex I still hadn’t come. I say alright only because I hadn’t come, so in my eyes it wasn’t over, but it was a different story for Will, he obviously came every time (I am a sex goddess haha) and he was going on about how he hadn’t come like that in ages. I was like hellllloooooo what about me? Stop talking and get to it! I already know I’m good but you’ve got something to prove here buddy!
Another sign would have been the whip and handcuffs I brought that never got used. I was very disappointed and to be honest this guy had been telling me how horny he was and how much he loved sex but he turned out to be a bit of a prude. Sex in the bedroom type of guy. No big risk of getting caught, not too much mixing it up. I was so excited to just fuck everywhere on the trip back to Perth but turned out to be average as hell. I did give him head when he was driving a few times and it excited me that the truck drivers going past us could see me doing it. Other than that I was let down for sure. That should have been the wake up call, but at least now I know for next time. Another lesson learnt from another life experience all I can do is say I did my best.
I do find it hard to understand how people can just give up and forget everything they feel. For me as I have said before I don’t really think of the what ifs, especially when it comes to boys, I just jump straight in and make the most of it and imagine all the good and enjoy the moments. I don’t imagine the end or if it’s not going to work out. In my eyes it just will, no matter what, because as long as I want it to happen I will give my all to ensure that it does. I wouldn’t give up or quit on something I believed in so strongly. I know things change and they don’t always work out (as I have recently been reminded, again) and that sucks, but if you can’t be with someone and think this could last forever what the hell is the point. I believe some things do last forever. I’m definitely no relationship expert (as I am sure you have gathered) but my emotions count for more than what my head says.
Anyways I will stop boring you with my sadness of being dumped and get rooting!
Adventure Pussy xx